May 14, 2009 at 9:51 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: boot camp, spirituality
I went on my daily conference-with-my-employers spirit walk and I was informed that I needed to get more serious. To commit more fully to god and my spiritual purpose. I am in spiritual boot camp, shifting more deeply into service, letting go of my smallness and letting god travel through me even more directly.
I was told to go on Blog Break. To delve deep within and come out stronger.
This should be interesting.
Stay tuned…
May 13, 2009 at 9:33 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: friends, healing, love, spirituality
Today is quick. One of my closest friends just called me from the hospital. I love her deeply and I want to supplement her antibiotics IV with my healing energy. I am writing here to support her. To say, yes it’s been a hard year. A year of scary words and physical pain and surgeries and spiritual growth. Today, she is back in the hospital with a serious infection. Two days ago, we were laughing on the phone about our gardens and planning a visit for her to help me with mine.
I see her smiling, surrounded with light and love.
More tomorrow.
May 12, 2009 at 9:04 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: career, landscape, spirituality, success
When I imagine myself being successful at my career, it is often accompanied by the sinking feeling of being alone. On the island of my dreams with no one to play with, doing everything by myself. It’s old faulty wiring, which I have been working on lately in that inner-electrician way. Kind of like the Inner Circus, Operations Division. I’ve been letting in the knowledge that there are lots of fabulous, successful spiritual intellectuals roaming the planet looking for a playmate. Just waiting for me to come on out. I’m re-routing my neural pathways to hold this new vision.
This coming into more success in my career is not as a result of becoming all business-y all of a sudden. It’s more from allowing spirit free reign in directing my moves. I get the sense that as the old economy breaks down, the new economy will be prioritized upon the foundation of living from spirit, from truth and doing what we were born for. I don’t see doing what makes money as a motivating force in creating wealth anymore. The new prosperity is based on an inner congruence and alignment with who you really are. The trick is to give yourself permission to know who you are and then to go full steam ahead to living that life.
So…that’s what I’m doing. Being brave. Living this new paradigm, which involves creating a new vision for myself based on who I really am.
And who I am is a woman with a highly developed inner landscape and a highly developed and overgrown weed-filled yard.
So, I am going to find a landscaper. I am so not alone!
More tomorrow.
May 11, 2009 at 8:59 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: circus, Harvard, thought
I can’t stretch my legs over and around my neck. I’m too afraid to climb up to the top of an arena, let alone jump onto a trapeze. Not only have I never learned to ride a motorcycle, I can’t even imagine riding around with 6 others in a small cage at top speed. I haven’t trained nor tamed tigers, little dogs don’t sit on goats for me, I don’t climb silks, do acrobatics or ride elephants.
But my kids and I watched all of that and more last night at the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey’s Circus.
What got me thinking, was that the people in the circus are some of the most advanced physical specimens of our species. To me, their abilities are beyond astounding and worthy. Yet, I know they don’t make that much money. And they travel hard on the road and live a challenging life.
And I thought, why is a new idea worth more than a daring physical feat in the circus? Why is the circus a lower common denominator than say….Harvard? Why is a collection of deep physicallers worth less in monetary value than a collection of deep thinkers?
Of course, this had me in deep thought throughout the show. Because that’s where I can be daring and exciting. Inspired by the power of these circus stars’ bodies, my mind tried to match their energy. Hanging with the circus folk in my own way. The inner circus. Ringside seats available. Excitement, thrills and chills, I promise.
More tomorrow.
May 10, 2009 at 10:44 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: children, circus, love, mothering
The first indication I had that this was going to be good was the red string gate I ran into as soon as I opened my bedroom door. It was strung from the banister to a plant and blocked my way. Hanging on the string was a bent metal coil shaped into the word MOM.
I smiled, partly with relief, because this is another first. First Mother’s Day post the big D. My kids are young, and I didn’t want to put any pressure on them by expecting anything without the help of their father. I didn’t know what would happen today. I was okay with it, as best as I could be, knowing how much I LOVE Mother’s Day!!!
So, the gate and the giggles I heard upstairs in the attic let me know that my little chickens were up to something. They had taken on Mother’s Day fully on their own.
When they heard me, they got all flustered and ran down to meet me. They both looked at me and with a great flourish, lifted their shirts to reveal bellies covered with red markered MOM, Hearts, and LOVE. That has to be one of the favorite moments of my life. We all burst out laughing. Those kids are the best. They plied me with home made cards and gifts. I am wearing both a bracelet and necklace that say I love Mom.
We’re off to the Tulip Festival and then the Ringling Brothers Circus.
I’m sending my love and gratitude out to all of you mothers and all of you children who are valuing your mothers today. Mothering is a powerful statement of commitment. Today is a celebration of nurturing and fiercely protecting the loving essence of our human-ness.
I plan to enjoy every second of it!
More tomorrow.
May 8, 2009 at 9:24 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: abundance, divorce, money, parenting, prosperity, sleep, wall-animals
I’ve been really tired the past few days…er, actually the past year. Last night, I got into bed and fell right asleep. From way across the other side of our old house, I was awakened repeatedly by my son. Wall animal at work. Things in his eyes. Legos. Drawing. Bathroom and hall lights turned on.
As I lay there, not sleeping, I was thinking about money. Paradigms. Belief systems. Monsters. Paradise. I am sitting on the cusp of prosperity for the first time in my life. And it’s a choice. A choice of where I put my attention. What do I think about? Where do I cuddle up? Do I chase the monster thoughts of panic? Or settle into the lap of luxury of my inner money hero?
I used to depend on my husband to make our money, while I devoted myself to having children, raising children, writing music and organizing everything for everyone in our household. I got used to thinking my husband was my money.
I no longer have a husband, so something had to change quickly! And the quickest change available to me was changing my mind. I came to see my husband was never my money. My deepest truth is my money. Abundance is a symptom of being tapped into source. Do I live from fear or live from source?
Well…there’s a hard decicion, right?
Two little kids are depending on me living from source, so bingo! Everyday I check in with my inner tap and I deepen my commitment to living from truth and living from a place of safety and strength. It’s so different than most of society. Right now so many people are broadcasting fear. I want to broadcast power, spirit and safety. I want to vibrate at a frequency level that counteracts our world’s panic. I get it, it’s always a choice. Always. And the thing I can do to help our world most is to choose well in each moment.
More tomorrow.
May 7, 2009 at 9:52 am (Uncategorized)
I fell in love with the gardens of the old house I’m living in. Even though they were largely overgrown with weeds, I could feel the tingle of some magic in the thickets of bamboo and jungly trails. Two owners ago, these gardens had won prizes. The owner was a bamboo expert. He had planted many asian specialty bamboos, arboretum quality rare trees and bushes. Everywhere you look, there is some surprising species of something or another. He was a Buddhist meditator and there is a gorgeous tea house by the stream. There are broken sculptures, an abandoned barn and a torn down greenhouse foundation.
With two kids and a career, I walk the grounds and feel the ghosts of the past urging me to devote all my time to creating the magic again. I weed, I plant, I rake and I sigh. There is no way I can bring this back to its former glory.
But I can create my own version of paradise here. Somehow, I need to let go of the past and allow myself to be realistic about what I can and can’t do. I need to get help, since it’s more than I can do alone. My gardens can be simpler, but still lovely and elegant. I can create a unique refuge with what is left of the previous owner’s grand vision and a working mom’s ability to streamline.
This feels metaphorical.
More tomorrow.
May 5, 2009 at 8:48 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: midwest, nature, personal growth, spirituality
